Friday, September 12, 2008

Torture Devices!

I reckon its time I come clean with all you dawggies out there, I'm actually an abused puppy who is constantly living in fear! I am in constant danger of being subjected to cruelty and abuse and I live my life hanging on a balance every single day. If I were to incur the wrath of any of the two-leggeds in my house, I would be torture! HOW you would be wondering? What are these unspeakable acts that they dealt to this poor helpless puppy? (yes I am still considered a puppy the last time I checked, I'm still under 12 months)

I will now show you prove, concrete photographic evidences of the torture devices that they use on the poor poor me.

Number One: THE MUZZLE

This is the most frequently used torture device! They will force it on me while I kick and scream in defiance but because they are so much bigger I'll eventually succumbed to it. What's so scary about this is that it's an evil energy sucking device that saps my strength from me. The moment the two-leggeds put this on me, it'll sap all my strength and I'll just go limp and useless in their arms or feet or whatever body part I was resting on. Its scary I tell you, I'm sure there's some witchcraft involve, I wonder if I should hire an exorcist? Just because I eat some poop or bite the joss stick of Dad's alter doesn't mean they have to do this to me. I'm so restricted and terrorized!

Number Two: THE DUNGEON


Thankfully I have not been subjected to the dungeon in a while. When I was younger, during my house-breaking period, I was in and out of it a couple of times each day! It was terrifying! Imagine, you are a little pup stuck all alone in a dark and creepy place and the only sound you hear is a constant stream of "Baaaaaaaad Doggie, Baaaaaaaad Hugo" coming from the two-leggeds. Seriously I have been deeply traumatize because of this. I'm certain that I have been psychologically scarred from all the time spent in that dingy hole.

Number Three: THE LAMPSHADE


This is the least frequently used device. So far I have only been subjected to it once (thank the Dogs!) That was during one of my most humiliating experience when the two-leggeds have me de-balled! I had to keep it on for a week and let me tell you it was a constant torture! I can't eat, I can't drink, I can't sleep and most importantly I CAN'T SCRATCH! It was horrible! I shudder just thinking about it now and whenever I catch sight of it, I will shout at it till the cows come home, or till its out of my sight at least.

So there you go, you've all seen just some of the evil instruments that the horrid two-leggeds used to break me in. I am a broken dawg...


SOMEDAWGGY SAVE ME!


Scarred and Broken,
Hugo

6 comments:

wally said...

Hugo! It is very nice to meet you. But I am disturbed by the horrible torture you must endure. I lead a similar tortured existence. Why, sometimes I have to go 3-4 hours without a snack??? How is that living?

I hope things improve for you.

wally t.

wally said...

Hugo--

Roaching is when you get on your back and wiggle with your legs kicking in the air--like a roach that has been tipped over!

wally t.

Huskee and Hershey said...

Hi Hugo,
Oh dear, I am calling SPCA for you little guy. Hang it there!!

T-man's mom said...

Hugo, you look so sad in that picture. I would really think you were an abused dog if I hadn't read about your poodle party the day before (hee hee!)

T-man's mom, CC-man and T-man Angel

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Hello Hugo, nice to meet you. You sure are a cute doggie. I hope you get lots of treats and toys in return for being abused. :(

~ Girl girl

Sen and Tom said...

Poor Hugo. I feel for your poor abused self... And I really sympathise on the lampshade front. I had to wear one almost constantly for weeks on end when I had my little, ahem..., problem recently. The scary thing is that #1 hasn't yet put it away...

Hang in there, buddy!

Tom